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Art of Music

August 22nd, 2013 by Laraeven

Recently a music artist posted on his FB posted critical opinions of his new album. It was done in an overly stroke me kind of way that seemed like he was asking for an ego boast. I felt bad for him because his new album is something that he worked so fucking hard on and to have it ripped to shreds by critics had to have felt horrible. A lot of music artists have had this happen to them. It is a big blow when the fans you were relying on turn into vicious rabid critics that pull apart the very essence of your art. However, I felt like the social media aspect lends itself to a very unhealthy way to combat the attacks. It shows a very unsavory side to the industry.

I personally have felt that same disheartened feeling upon a release of an album I had high hopes for and never felt the need to lash out at the artist for pulling away and trying new things.

Music itself is a very undulating art-form. It flows, changes, and is recreated constantly. As our personal tastes change so do the artist that create the music. What they liked to play yesterday is not the same as what strikes their soul tomorrow. You can not fault the artist if your taste does not coexist with their own. Either accept the change or move on. It is okay to grieve the loss of something you once thought was great, but don’t let it hinder you from trying new things. If music was always the same it would not be a true art.

Running Shoes

August 18th, 2013 by Laraeven

The post dropped off a new pair of running shoes that I ordered online. When I placed them on my feet they fit wonderfully in the toe-box and width. They are lightweight reminding me of how heavy tennis shoes used to be. I couldn’t wait to put them on and break them in. The first day wearing them I went to do some back to school shopping. As we were leaving the store my heal hurt really bad. I looked down and somehow my sock had slipped down letting the back of the heal rub against the shoe creating a blister. I made it to the car and thankfully I had a box of band-aids among the items I purchased. I had two more stores to go to before I returned home.

I am not giving up on these new shoes. They are an investment towards the healthier me. Every morning I plan to walk to the school and run home. That is almost 1 mile if I go the right way. After weighing myself I am down 1 more lb. Ironically, we just bought me some new clothes along with the running shoes. I wonder how long I will be able to wear them before I need the next size down.

Monday starts my intimate relationship with these new shoes. I am sure as long as I can keep my socks up we will get along just fine. I might cut the toes off of an old pair of socks to give me a little more cushion around my ankles. This is the start of a new habit. Habits take at least 2 weeks to form. I am dedicated to this for the next two weeks.

Whirlwind Attack

August 16th, 2013 by Laraeven

Gone are the lazy days of summer and enter the attack zone. I am already missing the slow pace that my life had become. Now I am in a frenzy to get things ready for the school year. I haven’t even played Warcraft this week other than checking mail. With deadlines pressing down I have been rushing to get forms turned in and tuition paid. If that wasn’t bad enough, mother nature has decided that my hormones should be out of whack and my period should start. I know TMI but really if you are reading this page you should know that I go there sometimes.

As I attack and defend myself against exhaustion excitement for what is to come overwhelms me. My Calculus class starts this Monday and I have to go through the orientation hoops that they are making everyone repeat before each Fall semester, even though I have been at this school over 3 years now. ugh! Will I be able to keep up? I haven’t had a math course in 2 years.

Among this my mental state of mind has been thrown into overdrive. I am almost manic which makes my OCD go into overdrive. As I check and recheck things my mind has been in a flurry of worry. Living with this unmedicated is such a challenge at times. I wish I could just exercise it all away. I have lost down to 165 from 180 so maybe I am on the right track towards body health. Now if I can get the insurance I need to get my mental health under control. I use every positive thought to combat the negative ones as I have been taught through therapy. It is still a pain when my thoughts override my intellect.

If you understand OCD or have it there is an interesting Poetry Slam going around that George Takei put up on his fb page. I can’t watch it without coming to complete tears. It isn’t because of the message in whole, but because someone else gets what I go through. They know how hard it is to check and recheck to make sure things are right. RIGHT! Yet, my OCD won’t let me believe that he actually has OCD. I don’t know the young man. It is just one of those feelings that no one suffers or understands me. Yet, I know there are others out there like me. But, when I watch that video it fits so well and completely that for that moment I believe someone else is dealing the same cards. If you haven’t seen it I will put it down below for you to watch.


July 30th, 2013 by Laraeven

One of my life ambitions is to write a novel. I have so many story ideas floating through my head. The problem I keep hitting is- “How do I know my idea is original?” I don’t want any other writer to think that I pulled my story from theirs. This is one of the road blocks to writing that I have to overcome. I would like to join a writers group for support, but worry that their ideas would bleed into mine or vice versa. I don’t want to get 3/4s way through a story only to find out it is too similar to another story that someone else wrote. I get sick to the stomach when reviews blame a writer for taking another writer’s idea.

Summer Time Blahs

July 30th, 2013 by Laraeven

This is going to be short and simple. I haven’t been around because I have the blahs. I have written many posts that are stuck in draft mode because I just don’t think anyone would really care to read them. It feels great to write. I have been trying to stay active and it is paying off. I am down to 165 in weight. Pants are still fitting tight so I don’t feel like I have lost any. I have to keep pushing. I want to be healthy and fit. The problem is that I am losing weight not just from being active, but from not eating right. My stomach is not happy with anything I give it. I eat a handful of cereal for snacks and a light dinner. Anything more and I am just miserable. Not sure why, but it is what it is.

I have to take a class towards my major this Fall or the program will boot me. They are ending my major at the local college. I am two classes away from an AS in Biomedical Technology. Problem is that the degree doesn’t really lead anywhere. *sigh* Just my luck. I can’t be a lab tech unless I get licensed that is going to take another degree. Do I go into teaching? My problem with that idea isn’t the kids it is dealing with the administration. Vet school? ugh… crossroads.

Maybe I will write a book…